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Relational Brain Circuits 101

Think of your brain like the breaker box in your house. When the circuits are overloaded, the power turns off. Once you’re triggered or overloaded with stress, you’re no longer functioning from the relational part of your brain. Awareness is the first step in transforming your brain and your relationships!

Here is a checklist, courtesy of Life Model Works:

  1. I just want a problem, person or feeling to go away.

  2. I don’t want to hear what you have to say.

  3. I just want to get away, or fight or I freeze.

  4. I don’t want to be connected to someone I usually like.

  5. My mind is “locked onto” something upsetting.

  6. I more aggressively interrogate, judge and fix others.

I created this poem to help me remember them!

Ode to R.C.’s

When I want a problem, person or feeling to go away.

When I don’t care about what you have to say.

When I want to run away, or fight or freeze.

When I don’t want to be with one who’d usually please.

When I’m upset and my mind won’t budge.

When I aggressively try to fix and judge.

My circuits are likely off, though it may be subtle.

I need to take a break so I don’t cause trouble!

 
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So how do we get our circuits back online?

1. Awareness is the FIRST step! Simply being aware that you’re “offline” will allow you to access the better parts of your brain.

2. If possible, identify what emotion you are feeling.

3. Try these exercises by Dr. Wilder.

4. Try this Integrative Recovery Method.